July 16, 2009
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The Sermon on the Mount: Two as One
This man came to his lawyer to seek a divorce. The lawyer asked him, “Do you have any Grounds? The man replied, “About three acres. “
The lawyer tried again, “No, I mean do you have a Grudge? The man said, “No, but we have a carport. “
The lawyer made one last effort: “Are you really sure you want a divorce?” The man told him, “No, I don’t but my wife does. She says we can’t communicate!”Today, again, we are looking at verses that may cause many of us to be uncomfortable. But please, look at this closely…….and hear ALL that God is saying.
Matthew 5:31-32 ( TNIV )
31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus was teaching the disciples , His listeners, and us, about how…. so very often….. we mis-intrepret God’s wisdom or place the focus in the wrong place. Here again He speaks to the disciples about that misplaced focus. The primary message that Jesus is conveying here to us is that God’s plan, what He knows is best for us, is that when a man and a woman come together…..it is a special relationship of marital commitment. In fairness to those of you who are single it is possible and indeed practical to live a pure. meaningful life, without marriage. However, for those who choose to marry it is important to understand that God intends it to be for life.
Let me first take you on a small journey through Scripture. This Scripture was not so easy for me…especially because I am “a used husband”…I’m divorced. However, I realized that I needed to gleen God’s wisdom and accept it no matter what I have done in my past because truth is truth whether I want to believe it or not. I hope you would agree that one of the greatest emotional pains that someone can experience often comes from the breakup of a marriage.
In the 1700’s in the book, “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” by Edward Gibbons it is reported that one of the primary reasons for the decline and fall of this empire was, “The rapid increase of divorce; the undermining of dignity and sanctity of the home, which is the basis of human society.”
The splitting of a relationship and the bitterness that engulfs peoples lives…. the splitting of this relationship that God intended to be lifelong and fulfilling…….. is one of the greatest tragedies that I know because everyone get’s hurt: adults…children….friendships and family relationships. ….all often suffer.
Jesus, in His widom and teaching from Matthew 5:31-32, seems to be talking here about divorce. However, I believe that the thrust of what He shares with us is actually about marriage.He is talking more about God’s intention for us in the marriage relationship to join together as one ……to join together as one flesh. Jesus is also talking about the “devient treatment” of God’s intention for marriage by the Pharisees (the religous leaders in ancient Israel). We can come up with a million reasons why a marriage should be disolved by divorce however, what we should focus on is “the million ways to work at keeping these relationships together…and healthy.”
Let’s look at where, I believe, the thrust of what Jesus is saying in the Sermon on the Mount comes from. In order to fully understand what Jesus is teaching us we need to look at what Jesus taught about divorce in the larger context. This can be found in Matthew 19:3-9:
Matthew 19:3-9 ( TNIV )
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and everyreason?”
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[this comes from Genesis 1:27] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[this comes from Genesis 2:24] ? 6 So they are no longer two,…………. but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
So basically what I see here is that, as people, we often focus on the divorce part and not the beauty of God’s plan….the joining of two people…a man and a woman….as one. There is almost no unhappiness so painful as the unhappiness of an unhappy marriage and almost no tragedy so great as the degeneration of what God wants for us……..a relationship of love and fullfilment……… a degeneration into a “non-relationship” of bitterness, discord and despair. Likewise, I have found that there is almost no greater joy and fullfillment than a happy marriage.
I know that right now there are many things going through your minds….the same things that have gone through mine…. ”Hold on, wait a minute, it’s not that easy!”….. you’re right…..it’s not that easy.
It seems that the prevelent attitude today (I would say that it is an irresponsible attitude) towards marriage is not God’s plan…..it’s less of an attitude of a life long commitment and more of an attitude of “what can you do for ME”. Remember the third Beatitude (Matthew 5:5): “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” ? We have talked about worldy wisdom and Godly wisdom before….this is another case of that contrast……worldly wisdom centers on “ME”….Godly wisdom centers on Him and OTHERS.
The attitudes that say “I’m not happy; we’re not compatible; he (or she) doesn’t meet my needs” are shallow and ”ME” centered. It is important for us to understand God’s ideal. This ideal is clearly stated in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. The apostle Paul is talking:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ( TNIV )
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails…..Two normal people committed to these principals cannot help but find pleasure, happiness, and love for each other. Remember the fourth Beatitude (Matthew 5: 6): “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” ? Married couples who habitually date and court each other will find their love growing deeper.
Jesus specializes in mending broken lives….. even those fractured by divorce. Notice God’s attitude toward failure.He never asked how they got into trouble…….He knows. He never leaves broken people where He finds them. He moves people from where they are to a higher level of living.
You can see this in the story of the Woman at the well. (John 4)
John 4: 13-18 ( TNIV )
13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” 15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” 16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.” 17 “I have no husband,” she replied. Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”It is interesting that this woman recognized that Jesus was the Messiah:
John 4:25-26 ( TNIV )
25 The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” 26 Then Jesus declared, “I who speak to you am he.”For those of you that are like me and for whatever reason have a divorce in their past…….don’t dwell on the past but look to the future. Divorce is forgivable but like any sin in our lives it must not become habitual. Look at what Jesus says to the woman caught in adultry that was about to be stoned for her sin…..
John 8:11 ( TNIV )
11…… “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”Some married couples live in emotional divorce and that also is not God’s plan. This occures when they live together but do not share a love for each other. I believe that the cure for this is to live in Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3. God gives us His wisdom…we need only to apply it to reap the blessing. These two full chapters are so important and strong in the wisdom of our daily life…….let me share two short excerpts out of those chapters:
Ephesians 5:8-10 ( TNIV )
8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord.Colossians 3:12-15 ( TNIV )
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.There is no room for divorce in a committed Christian home. Remember Matthew 5:23:
<<– Officiating my daughters wedding….what a blessing
Matthew 5:23-24 ( TNIV )
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to that person; then come and offer your gift.Remember the seventh Beatitude (Matthew 5: 6): “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God”
What would our life be like if we were to apply the wisdom of the teachings of Jesus about our inner self, our inner heart……the Beatitudes? The bottom line comes from the fact that our relationship with God will determine the quality of our relationship with not only that special person in our life that we are joined together with in marriage, but also in all of our relationships.